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And there’s some truth to that, but not as much as I’d expected when I set out to do this blind taste test. Then, Rhianna tried to reason with me. There is not enough money in the world…. I quickly formed enemies. A bit of lemon, a lesser bit of pine. By using our site, you agree to these terms. Stoli is fairly bland beyond a slight black pepper kick (delivered by aforementioned dog). This is one of the brands popular among the friends I run into as soon as the liquor store finally opens at the dot of noon every Sunday. Can you tell the difference between the shittiest of shitty vodkas? Moments before beginning our experiment, Rhianna attempted to “slap the bag” for the first time in her life (she’s a senior… where has she been?). But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. After downing it like champs, they all came to the same conclusion that, “it wasn’t particularly awful.”, They all unanimously voted the Crown Russe as Svedka, Because we needed an excuse to finally finish the bottle that’s been chilling on our bar…, As I handed them each the second shot, Vince looked over at me to ask, “Can I have water to clean my pallet?”, However, instead of having water, they all decided it would be a great idea to chase the shitty vodka down with some good ol’ shitty Franzia…, (Drinking Franzia out of a straw as a chaser…If that’s your strategy to survive this, good luck! However, in that moment of desperation, she pleaded, “Please don’t make me take this. Smirnoff Triple Distilled Vodka. Seagram's Peach Tea Flavored Vodka. The perception that it’s all largely the same is another reason vodka isn’t as beloved by booze talkers, writers, mixers, and rankers as it is by drinkers. 10. The first domestically produced vodka in the United States was Smirnoff. Some of these may be hotter than some of the more high-end brands and in the long run may not be worth the savings. And Vlad was… wait for it… the EASIEST of the four shots to take. and less like water (bad!). Smirnoff’s a bad deal, man. But, that said, it’ll do. Yes, I wanted Diddy Juice to finish last, but what can you do? First and foremost, of course, vodka invented brunch. ), After taking the shot, repulsed looks appeared on all three of their faces. Rhianna, Meghan and Vince cheersed to their first shot. With a slight hint of lemon, the flavor of this vodka is supposed to be subtle. Top 10 Best Vodka Brands – 2021. He lives in Cambridge, Mass., and has visited all of the other New England states, including, come to think of it, Vermont. Vodka in Amerika. Their wide array of flavors ranging from Apple, Red Berry, French Vanilla, Mango, Pineapple, Peach, Coconut and Summer Colada. Probably not the most hyped-up brand, Three Olives is a unique vodka from England that comes in a super-cool flavor, Loopy, which basically tastes like Fruity Pebbles. Whether you're taking shots or making a mixed drink, you can never go wrong with a bottle of vodka. It smells like sweet musty corn, and the flavor is so sweet as to be almost fruity. The Rankings: All 10 Gins, Ranked From Worst to Best. In the year 2014, Smirnoff was recognized as the best-selling vodka brand in the world. See the list of the 15 best vodkas for 2019 now! But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. This is Dan Aykroyd’s high-end Canadian joint. New Amsterdam Straight Gin. And for about $14, you haven't got any reason not to indulge. More of the gasoline-scented bathroom plastic, but not quite as ferocious as the Ruble. 4. Ketel One, made from wheat, has essentially no aroma leading into its soft, fruity flavor. Red Berry is one of the originals in the portfolio, and the coconut vodka rivals that from top-shelf brands. It remains a top choice for many drinkers and offers excellent versatility in cocktails. I realized taking straight shots of shitty vodka might be traumatizing enough, so instead of blindfolding Rhianna, Meghan, and Vince (yes that was my original plan…), I had them sit on the couch in our living room, while I prepared them shots from the kitchen. I assumed they would fall into two categories: more like water (good!) According to this experiment, Pinnacle is the shittiest of the shittiest at a slightly more expensive price. Tito’s Vodka is a corn-based spirit made by the premier craft distillery in Texas. Tito’s. Vodka brands are experimenting more than ever with how they’re making it, as well as infusing and distilling their spirits with unique flavors. It’s not bad, but it’s not worth even half its price. After revealing these results to my subjects, Vince daringly admitted, “Vlad wasn’t that bad.”. The begging to stop continued until I told them to take their final shot. While there are many vodkas to explore, a few vodka brands have risen to the top. And that same simplicity helps it play a crucial supporting role in stripped-down classics like the Cranberry Juice and Ice. Vodka is arguably the most popular liquor in the bar. Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. Best Vodka Brands: The Best of the Best The drink of choice for many, vodka has been around for centuries. Cîroc, unlike most vodka brands, is made with French grapes. Crown Russe came in third. SMOOTHEST. Damn, Diddy got me! Which vodka do you think is the shittiest of the shittiest? 13. Until then, just do as I say. They boldly claimed to have just consumed Crown Russe. Will Gordon loves life and tolerates dissent. Ruble (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for about $7). But it turns out that the vodka, while not as good as the ads, isn’t bad, either. It turns out there’s more variation that that. The Best Vodka Brands to Stock Your Bar Cart With. 13. They are reliable, reasonably priced, and appear on nearly every liquor store shelf and back bar across the globe. Svedka received the second strongest reaction. Once sold for $3,000 a bottle, this now discontinued Stoli vodka is worth over $5,000. If you drink vodka, it’s absolutely worth your while to try several of them in a controlled setting—the cemetery at the edge of town on a moonless night, say, or your kitchen table—and figure out which one offers the right combination of flavor and price to fulfill your particular liver’s needs. The staple of every Penn State student’s freshman year…. To view our privacy policy in full, click here. Round 1: Crown Russe. The disgusted looks on their faces grew permanent as they tried to force this poison into their bodies. The offerings have expanded greatly, so if you're looking for apple, citrus, mango, peach, pineapple, or watermelon vodka, New Amsterdam has … Cool skull-shaped bottle, true, but not cooler than 95 socks and a bottle of Cossack. There’s no burn to speak of, and now I get why my pal Nadir drinks it by the gallon. Gone are the days when every coffee table in America was littered with a dozen back-cover magazine ads for what one can only assume was the preferred spirit of the era’s most famous beer-loving bikini team. If you're a lover of this Russian alcohol, you're probably on the hunt for a good vodka brand as your go-to. Their OG flavor has subtle hints of buttercream and mint, so this is the perfect vodka for those with a sweet tooth. Rheingold Lager (let's assume its adherents call it Rheiny) has a cool name, a cool label, a cool back story, and a terrible flavor. My roommates begged for me to let them free. Also, 93 percent of corn planted in the U.S. is genetically modified, so look for bourbon brands that have ‘distilled using 100 percent non-GMO corn’ on the label.” 7. It smells a bit more like nail polish remover than I typically care for in my foodstuffs, and it makes a harsh, oily impression that disqualifies it from all but the lightest duty (i.e., Jell-O shots). It dominates the vodka market and at the end of the fiscal year, 2017, showed a development of 2% from last year to register its sales figures at 26.0 million cases.. Smirnoff is a Russian origin vodka brand that was introduced in the year 1860s in Moscow by its founder Pyotr Arsenievich Smirnov. I really wanted this to do poorly, so I could convince him to shop more frugally, but this is absolutely worth the dedicated vodka drinker’s dough. New Amsterdam is clean and smooth and nothing special, but worth the price. They all looked at me with more disgusted faces, courageously took the shot, and collectively agreed, “Wow. This French wheat-based vodka opens with a pretty mean aroma, but that burns off quickly to leave a soft and fine flavor that shows a bit of light lemon and not much else. I like England and I like wheat, but I do not care much for this English wheat vodka. They asked if they can do process of elimination to guess which vodka the last one is. But for whatever reason, I found the Cossack to be better, and in fact almost downright pleasant, with a slightly creamy, corny character that evoked nice moonshine. To find the best vodka brands at every price, VinePair tasted dozens of spirits from different countries and base grains. However, there is a relatively new brand Polish Vodka called KU:L Vodka. Cossack (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for around $7). All vodka must be a minimum of 37.5% alcohol to be considered vodka by European standards, but most traditional vodkas are 40% alcohol (AKA - 80 proof). Prices are for 80-proof, 750-milliliter bottles at BevMo. 8. Vodka makes learning fun. Here are 15 great vodka makers to try. Diageo. Vodka: Bad news, “It’s clear so it must be healthier” people: Vodka is way down at number seven. So which cheap vodka wins the title as the “shittiest of the shittiest?”. I must once and for all answer such a critical college question: which is…the shittiest of the shittiest? Owned by renowned designer Leon Verres, Billionaire Vodka is the most expensive vodka brand in the world. The most ubiquitous vodka brand in the United States, Tito's is the best vodka to keep stocked up at home for any sipping occasion. It has an overwrought floral and citrus aroma that evokes drugstore perfume, and it tastes roughly the same. That shot was not that bad.” They voted it must be Pinnacle. Find him on Twitter @WillGordonAgain. If you are on a tight budget you may want to buy one of the less expensive brands. We decided to do a little experiment I like to call, “Guess the shittiest of the shittiest.” The shittiest being the shittiest vodka. This vodka brand comes from Japan’s most famous whiskey manufacturers who make it clean, crisp and one of the best vodka brands available. And it’s also pretty fair vodka: the mid-priced flavorless ideal, other than a pleasant if slightly hot hint of mint. Microdistilled in small batches in Austin, Texas, for a super crisp and clean finish, Tito's can certainly go toe-to-toe with any luxury vodka. So, you might want to bite your tongue next time you think about giving your friend crap about ordering a gin-and-tonic, while you throw back your shot of Fireball. A behind-the-bar favorite, this 100% rye vodka has more going for it than just its price. There are expensive name brands out there that are pricey, but their taste is on the level of something you could find at your corner bodega. The stereotype that bad vodka gives you headaches is true in some cases because it’s made with many impurities. I’m begging.” Then continued, “I’ll slap the bag instead.”. Nikka Coffey Vodka. From bloody marys to classic martinis and cosmos, these are the best vodkas to stock your bar with. And in their defense, it’s tempting to dismiss a clear, largely odorless and flavorless liquor as fit for nothing more than making teens drunk and rappers rich, and I confess that, for all my populist posturing, I don’t drink a ton of the stuff. Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. Not undrinkable, but a bit of an underachiever, even at this light price. Vodka consumption and production is no longer confined to the countries of the vodka belt. In fact, the most popular spirit consumed in the United States is not whiskey, but vodka. Because of the family’s association with the royal court of Tsar Alexander III, Vladimir Smirnov fled … That’s just because I really like whiskey and gin, though. Update to privacy policy and how we use cookies I tasted all of the vodkas blind in waves of three or so at a time. Along with their characteristics, they also have cocktail recipes tailored with various flavors that assures a burst of flavors. Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise. If three words could define college, they would be: cheap, shitty alcohol. Perhaps the biggest success story in all of American vodka is that of Tito Beveridge, who despite his perfect name for the craft, took a circuitous route to distillation. But to no avail, I poured them each one more shot. 10. This wheat variety debuted internationally as one of the classic “advertising in a bottle” brands of the 1980s, which could account for its recent sales decline. Round 2: Pinnacle. Not much good, nothing bad, and cheaper than most of the stuff here. Despite—eh, who are we kidding, because of—its mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. The following ranking is based strictly on taste, as determined by me alone at my desk one night last week. What's the difference between vanilla vodka and frosting-flavored vodka? It originates from Poland and Russia and actually means 'water' as it derives from the Russian word 'voda.' She vowed not to try again. Despite—eh, who are we kidding, because of—its mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. See our full list of the 20 best vodkas for 2020 now! 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