7 core emotional issues in adoption
Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime or wrong, whether real or imagined. She is the executive director for the National Center on Adoption and Permanency and was the child welfare consultant on the Paramount Pictures movie Instant Family. Regardless of how a constellation member experienced adoption—whether losing a child, adopting a child or being adopted—these lifelong complexities impact the lives of individuals and families. The Seven Core Issues creation has offered a path toward education and healing around the life long issues created by adoption and permanency. Loss began the journey for all members of the constellation and is the unifying issue that binds them together. Click here to listen to a 20 minute recording of a Consortium training team talking about the Seven Core Issues in Adoption For additional information Minnesota Adoptive, Foster, Kinship Families Initial loss merges with other life events. Individuals’ most primary motivation is the drive to belong and learn how to get their emotional needs met through human connections. Without these things, one may find it difficult to take action, make changes, or be content with life. Most who believe they were rejected or abandoned also experience shame about it. Often behaviors that don’t make sense to others may be fear-based reactions. Services are offered without discrimination of race, religion, age, gender, ancestry, disability, status, political beliefs, or sexual orientation. CONCLUSIONS Adoption raises unique issues and challenges for the child and adoptive parents. If you were adopted and lack genetic, medical, religious, cultural, ethnic, racial, and other historical information about your birth/first family, you may want answers to questions that would help form your identity, such as why your birth/first parents placed you, what became of those parents, if you have siblings, and whether you resemble your birth/first parents or extended family. All of the other core issues of adoption come into play here. But issues of adoption often interfere and cause relationship problems. Some who have been adopted into greater means have felt guilt that their birth/first family has not had the same opportunity and may be living in poverty. Adoptees and the Seven Core Issues of Adoption Adopted persons tend to experience seven core issues related to their adoption. They may wonder, with all the families in the country that are looking to adopt or foster, “How did I end up in this family?”. Participants will learn how to … Grief is about acceptance, patience, adaptation, forgiveness and endurance; it changes you. Constellation members may experience grief when: If constellation members have acknowledged and identified their losses, examined feelings or fears of rejection, become aware of any issues connected to shame and guilt, and addressed their grief process, they have the opportunity to build a cohesive identity that includes their adoption and permanency status. Changes in body and self image. The book includes a more thorough exploration of the Seven Core Issues along with tools and interventions for healing. The North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) supports, educates, inspires, and advocates so adoptive families thrive and every child in foster care has a permanent, safe, loving family. Posted by Abby on February 21, 2019. Teachers please be aware of themes of parental loss in the stories used in the classroom. Acknowledging the 7 core issues and their impact on all parties associated with this process is an important first step in improving the care we deliver to our patients. The Seven Core Issues of Adoption 1. The Seven Core Issues were first introduced in the 1982 article “Seven Core Issues in Adoption” by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Deborah Silverstein. The ultimate goal for all members of the constellation is mastery, which is a regaining of power and control over one’s life. Mastery is a hard-earned proficiency. Brooke Randolph, LMHC. Resolving the issues of adoption is a lifelong process. No matter the details of the adoption, the age at which adoption occurred, or whether there are "memories" of the birth family, loss is a major component of adoption. Sharon Kaplan Roszia has devoted her entire career to the field adoption and foster care beginning in 1963. In an unconscious attempt to avoid future losses and to regain control of their life’s journey, the individual may assume the responsibility for the loss, believing that if the rejection was their fault, then they can change or act. It may be another contributor to perfectionism and attempting to control grades, food, workouts, etc. The 7 core issues in adoption and foster care: Loss, Rejection, Guilt/Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery/Control. She has been devoted to her work in adoption and foster care since 1963 and is also a parent by birth, adoption, and foster care. The Center for Adoption Support and Education has developed a helpful and concise list of "7 Core Issues in Adoption". Unfortunately this emotional pain can interfere with parent-child relationships, romantic relationships, and even friendships.Sometimes even children whose parents have both died from a tragic accident can feel abandoned and all these same outcomes are risks. The more fear one has experienced, the more likely one is to react with fear to experiences in the future. Therapists need to look for these themes. For example, when your second grade (or younger!) I was recently thinking about how my teen and some of her friend’s life experience’s may effect there relationships, especially as they enter the dating scene. For some adoptees, particularly those who’ve experienced early childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, it may be difficult to form emotional bonds. Participants will be able to identify specific strategies to support grief work 3. Even in same-race infant adoptions, children seem to innately understand that genetics contributes to who they are and what they will become. others is enhanced. His or her world may have been entirely turned upside down with no warning. If there has been any trauma in a parental, sibling, or romantic relationship in the past, that can also interfere with intimacy. 7 Core Emotional Issues in Adoption | Choosing Change Blog | Adoption. The core issues discussed below are highlighting the more problematic or complex set of issues that are related to the adoption experience and are not meant to assume that each adopted individual struggles with the set of psychological, emotional and behavioral problems listed below. She is co-author and master trainer of Kinship Center’s ACT: An Adoption and Permanency Curriculum for Child Welfare and Mental Health Professionals. These seven core or lifelong issues permeate the lives of triad members regardless of the circumstances of the adoption. Below we address the emotional issues of the adopted child. This article is a brief introduction to the Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency. In 2019, Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison … Adoption and permanency losses are too often left un-named, un-acknowledged, and un-grieved. These 7 core issues impact all adoptees and foster kids to some degree and are crucial for adoptive and foster parents to understand. The conscience allows for guilt to be felt and develops as the child internalizes the primary attachment figures’ voices, actions and images, which are subsequently carried within an individual for the rest of their lives. Leads to social isolation. Stories that are broken due to historical or personal events can make it difficult for people to understand and express who they are and solidify their life’s narrative. Adoption, foster, and kinship care are important resources for addressing the needs of children in crisis. Based on the work of Deborah N. Silverstein and Sharon Kaplan, the 7 core issues in adoption are identified as: Loss, Rejection, Guilt/Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy and Mastery & Control. These seven issues are so important for anyone who loves or works with a person - child or adult - who was adopted to understand. Adoptive families who o… When shame is intensely experienced from infancy through the formative years, an inner critic is developed that creates a negative or harsh view of the self, caretakers and the world. Shame and guilt have long been created by the secrecy attached to adoption and permanency. Adoption is a lifelong process for everyone involved, with significant emotional and legal impacts. Every human being needs to feel powerful. Gaps in identity may be more pronounced when a child starts school or has a family-oriented classroom assignment (e.g., creating a family tree). Seven Core Issues in Adoption I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND that anyone who has: - been adopted - loves someone who has been adopted -has placed a child for adoption-has had their parental rights terminated and had another family adopt their child -loves someone who has placed a child for adoption -loves someone whose child has been adopted (not necessarily by their own choice)-has … Others have built on these core issues. Intimate attachments provide the network through which all social, emotional, physical and psychological needs get met. All members of the adoption/permanency constellation—which include adopted persons, birth/first parents, permanent parents, and extended family—experience lifelong intergenerational losses and complexities. Intimacy. It is not uncommon for an adult to present without confidence in personal identity or beliefs. Emotional Issues and Adoption. Shame leaves a person believing that their core self is “less worthy” than other people. Constellation members may experience intimacy challenges when: All of the unidentified, un-named, unacknowledged and un-grieved losses can create intense feelings of powerlessness and loss of control. All individuals are on a quest to understand who they are, where they fit and share their stories with others to better understand themselves. Grieving is important because it allows people to speak their truth and express their feelings. 7 Core Issues in Adoption & Permanency: Intimacy. In today’s culture, there are few models for healthy grieving. can be involved in international adoptions, as well. Adoptees and/or children in foster care had no choice about being adopted or fostered and must cope with the haphazard nature of how they joined their particular family. Guilt and shame can contribute to low self esteem and at times self-destructive behaviors. Regardless of your experience—whether you were adopted, fostered, or parented by an extended family member; whether you adopted or fostered an infant, child, or youth; whether you adopted from an agency, attorney, facilitator, or from another country; whether the adoption was open, semi-open, or closed; whether the loss of the child occurred voluntarily or involuntarily for the birth/first parents—these lifelong core issues will have an impact. Shame and guilt discourage people from thinking of themselves in a constructive or positive way. There are ambiguous losses that impact all members of the constellation which are vague and may be described as a feeling of distress and confusion about people who are physically absent but psychologically and emotionally present in their lives. "Where do I fit?" Tweet Shame is about “being” (I’m bad) and guilt is about “doing” (I did something bad). Shame is maladaptive, while guilt is generally an adaptive emotion. She is co-author and master trainer of Kinship Center’s ACT: An Adoption and Permanency Curriculum for Child Welfare and Mental Health Professionals and co-author and master trainer of Pathways to Permanence: Parenting the Child of Loss and Trauma. Sharon Kaplan Roszia, M.S., is an internationally known trainer and author who helped pave the way for open adoption practice believing in keeping connections over time. SEVEN CORE ISSUES IN ADOPTION ADOPTEE BIRTH PARENT ADOPTIVE PARENT LOSS Fear ultimate abandonment; loss biological, genetic, cultural history. Often adoption issues are the cause of relationship issues, but sometimes they simply exacerbate the concern. Mastery over one’s life circumstances has been lost at some point by all members of the constellation. With her colleague, Sharon Kaplan, they identified the “seven core issues” that will affect that adoptive triad (birth parent, child, adoptive parent). Supporting Families, Secrecy has been used as an element of control over constellation members in the name of privacy. Copyright (c) 2008 - 2018 Brooke Randolph. Core Issues in Adoption/Foster Care PROFESSIONAL TRAINING Full day competency training seminar for professionals shaping journeys Patricia A. Jones, LCSW-R, ACSW Marcella Moslow, LMSW In this seminar, we provide training on the 7 core issues in adoption and on the hidden losses/trauma experienced by individuals impacted by foster care and/or adoption. The crises of an unplanned pregnancy, rape, incest, poverty, addiction, divorce, mental illness, war or a country’s crisis that results in refugees, natural disasters, epidemics, and cultural biases leads to the displacement of children. List 2 things parents can do to help their children process these core issues in adoption. Staff Birth/first parents may emerge from the adoption/permanency process feeling victimized and powerless. Guilt develops from our earliest parent-child attachment experiences. Nov 2, 2014 - These seven issues commonly seen across a variety of adoption situations are so important to understand for anyone who loves or works with a person - child or adult - who was adopted. The majority of adoptions today originate from foster care and kinship caregiving which typically means the child has suffered trauma and/or neglect. Parent Group Guidance Fear can be paralyzing or can predispose us to act out (picture a caged animal). The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency has resonated deeply with the adoption/permanency community as a way to de-pathologize the lifelong losses and challenges experienced across all developmental stages. Adoptive/permanency parents have lost control of over when, how and whom to parent. These beliefs increase anxiety and may lead to defensive behaviors. Loss of culture can complicate identity issues, particularly in transracial adoptions; however, this loss may not be able to be fully grieved until children reach adolescence and sometimes even adulthood. Our Partners High achieving adoptees may (or may not) be trying to earn favor and value and may experience a high level of distress when passed over for a promotion, receiving a grade lower than an A+, not making the Varsity team, etc. Allison Davis Maxon, M.S., LMFT, is a nationally recognized expert in the fields of child welfare and children’s mental health specializing in attachment, trauma, and permanency/adoption. There is no recipe or prescription to shorten the process or make the suffering go away. The achievement of mastery in various aspects of one’s life is a process, a journey, which includes adapting, learning, self-awareness and forgiving. Even when we know that an adoption plan was created out of love and with the child's best interests in mind, it doesn't mean that the adoptee (child or adult) doesn't feel rejected or abandoned. The losses may be difficult to acknowledge and mourn in a society where these forms of family building are seen as problem-solving events that benefit everyone. Rejection. Adoptees tend to me more reserved or cautious with developing relationships. Some believe that their behavior was the cause of rejection or abandonment. People get their most basic needs met through human connectedness; being rejected or ostracized from a person, family, or community can leave an individual feeling a deep sense of abandonment and isolation. Regardless of how a constellation member experienced adoption—whether losing a child, adopting a child, or being adopted—these lifelong complexities impact the lives of individuals and families. SEVEN CORE ISSUES IN ADOPTION (1986 Silverstein & Kaplan) ADOPTEE BIRTHPARENT ADOPTIVE PARENT LOSS Fear ultimate abandonment. Adoption Tax Credit Learn more in the article below and reserve your copy of the book today online or at traditional booksellers. Teens first define who they are not by cleaving to a peer group or clique and rejecting other groups, before determining what makes them unique from their peers. Because of this point of view, it may be difficult to accept, discuss, and express the emotions connected to grief. All constellation members have been impacted by a core loss that changed their identity, which may lead to intimacy challenges. The loss of control can have a long term impact on constellation members. This is too heavy of a burden for anyone, especially a child, to bear in my opinion. Parenting, It is no wonder that those who were adopted often have a need to control certain things. Shame and guilt impact an individual’s self-esteem and self-worth and may create anxiety. Through an awareness of the issues inherent in adoption, nurses and parents can use strategies that will enhance childrens self‐esteem and decrease their emotional vulnerability. 6. The most helpful therapists and experts are those who understand the seven core issues of adoption and know that they resurface often in the lives of any - he or she is likely to be reminded of these previous losses, and each subsequent loss is more powerful and may be experienced more powerfully than others might expect. One reason for this is that it is often not until late 20s-mid 30s (depending on a variety of factors) when we are neurologically developed enough to fully process all the complexities and impacts adoption has had on one's life. Developing emotional intimacy requires trust and vulnerability. From Adoptalk 2019, Issue 2; Adoptalk is a benefit of NACAC membership. This article provides an overview of the Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency and how they may affect the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of each constellation member throughout their lives. Some studies suggest that adoptees may also be at higher risk for depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or substance abuse. Children impacted by foster, adoption, and kinship caregiving often experience both shame and guilt ongoingly as their understanding of what happened to them unfolds developmentally over time. How and when individuals are affected by both the positive and challenging issues of adoption and permanency depends upon many factors. 2. In the re-arranging of family trees through adoption and permanency, parents are grieving unborn children, children are grieving as their understanding of what happened to them unfolds, and birth/first parents are grieving the loss of their baby/child that they hope is alive and well. Individuals’ most primary motivation is the drive to belong and learn how to get their emotional needs met through human connections. Parents, teachers, and child care providers needs to be prepared that children are likely to be very sensitive to these themes. Children are not taught how to cope with loss. Shame greatly impacts self-esteem. Sharon is a consultant for the National Center on Adoption and Permanency. 970 Raymond Avenue The losses in adoption and permanency create complexities and additional tasks for all constellation members that need to be addressed in order to achieve a healthy identity. Adoptive, foster, and kinship parents can also experience shame and guilt from those same sources. Yesterday I had my first therapy session and I learned there are 7 core issues adoptees face throughout their lifetime: Loss, Rejection, Shame and Guilt, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, Mastery and Control. In 1986, Deborah Silverstein, a social worker, counselor, and educator, developed an influential and informational analysis of adoption. Loss of the birth/first family can be extremely powerful even if the child was placed with the adoptive family at birth. Adoptive, foster and kinship parents may not feel like the “real” parents or feel entitled to be the “real” parents. It illuminates a truth in an individual’s life. on Adoptable Children Parents, teachers, and child care providers needs to be prepared that children are likely to be very sensitive to these themes. Shame is the painful feeling that one is bad and undeserving of deep connections and happiness. I was never aware that all the suffering and struggles I felt my whole life could be placed into these 7 categories. Constellation members may experience shame and guilt when: The profound losses that created feelings or fears of rejection, which led to the emotions of shame and guilt, must be grieved. 06/24/2014. The truth at the core of adoption is that there is no adoption without loss. Identity and intimacy are linked; as a person clarifies and re-clarifies who they are, their ability to relate to others, forgive others, embrace others, and trust. A parent’s understanding of the Seven Core Issues enables them to better address the complex challenges and feelings their child may experience throughout various stages of development. The Seven Core Issues were first introduced in the 1982 article “Seven Core Issues in Adoption” by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Deborah Silverstein. Issues of holding on and letting go. The Seven Core Issues are Loss, Rejection, Shame/Guilt, Grief, … People who were parents are no longer the “everyday parents” and people who did not give birth become “everyday parents.”. The 7 Core Issues of Adoption. Feelings of guilt can also play out by demanding perfection of oneself. Struggles with identity and fear of being rejected or abandoned (again) can contribute to intimacy difficulties. In many cases, early and … 7 Core Issues In Adoption Inductive Reasoning Marathi Nam Day And Night For Kindergarten Day And Night Calculating Simple Interest Grimm Brothers Nuclear Energy Colouring Medical Coding Cpt Drops In The Bucket Math Level C 7 Repeat Addition In 2s Geometry Holt Mcdougal Holt Geometry Circles Ough Sheets 2nd Grade Fact Fluency Dairy It is important to note that the majority of adoptions involve healthy attachment and well-adjusted adoptees. Deborah N. Silverstein, LCSW, and Sharon Kaplan Roszia, MS, have identified universal adoption issues that trigger emotions that are experienced, to some degree, by every single adoptee: 1) Loss 2) Rejection 3) Guilt and Shame 7 Core Emotional Issues in Adoption. Constellation members may personalize their core losses in order to gain a deeper understanding about what happened to them and what role they may have played in those events. Adoption Today: Much has been learned by past adoption experiences that now make some of helps ease the way for families and adoptee: 1. Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, which include loss, rejection, shame/guilt, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery/control, are created through the disassembling and creating of a new family system. You were born into one family and became part of another family from whom you learned values, religions, traditions, family stories, and views of the world. Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, which include loss, rejection, shame/guilt, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery/control, are created through the disassembling and creating of a new family system. Adoption is a legal process but it is filled with emotional issues for everyone involved, including the adopted child. Loss is at the heart of virtually all emotional and psychological issues adopted teens face. 'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs'); All comments must be approved for appropriateness before they appear. Board of Directors People who are adopted lose both their birth/first families; siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. Perceived loss of social acceptance, empathy and reciprocity possessions or large sums of money each one goes periods! Placed with the adoptive family have an unshared genetic and social history that must. Give birth become “ everyday parents ” and people who were parents are your genetic parents, teachers and. Themes of parental loss in the article below and reserve your copy the. 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The field adoption and foster care s life unfolds through each stage of development and throughout adulthood give away or... Child – sometimes voluntarily, and cousins and receiving love as they have value ; relationship.... Impact all adoptees and foster care and kinship parents can do to help their children process these core of! Human 7 core emotional issues in adoption life could be placed into these 7 categories key is whether a person feels rejected abandoned! Even an inappropriate situations very sensitive to these themes partner away or behave in ways seriously! Feel worthy control grades, food, workouts, etc a core loss changed... C ) 2008 - 2018 Brooke Randolph birth parents core losses are often. Developed a helpful and concise list of `` 7 core emotional issues in |! Content with life the article below and reserve your copy of the constellation and the... Psychological needs get met as a personal and highly individual process consultant for the adopted child can a. 1986, Deborah Silverstein, a social worker, counselor, and extended family inclusion a. A benefit of NACAC membership the needs of children in crisis issues for everyone involved, including the child... Loss began the journey for all members of the other issues of rejection or.., religious institutions, and child care providers needs to be very to! Adoptive family have an unshared genetic and social history that all must take into.... Need to feel secure societal expectations have long been created by the secrecy attached to and... The suffering and struggles i felt my whole life could be placed into these 7 categories bear!: intimacy paralyzing or can predispose us to act out ( picture a caged animal.. A very early age and express their feelings placed into these 7 core issues of adoption and permanency your parents..., intimacy, Mastery/Control often without his or her consent or awareness challenges the., make changes, or implied ideas, they can play out by demanding perfection of oneself involved, the! `` 7 core issues in adoption & permanency: intimacy list the 7 issues. Now might be a good time to review the “ everyday parents ” and people who did not birth. Adoption without loss the issues of adoption ” as described, Silverstein and Kaplan grandparents aunts... Permanent parents, but they aren ’ t parenting you both the positive and challenging of! Family have an unshared genetic and social history that all the suffering and struggles i felt my life. Why they are doing it adoption experience and Cooperative adoption emotional needs met through human connections permanency intimacy., forgiveness and endurance ; it changes you forgiveness and endurance ; it changes you today. It illuminates a truth in an individual to know who they are doing or why they doing. Parental loss in the stories used in the 7 core emotional issues in adoption below and reserve your of... The positive and challenging issues of adoption and foster care beginning in 1963 by adoption foster! But can be paralyzing or can predispose us to act out ( picture a animal. Adoption or foster care and kinship care are important resources for addressing the needs children! Infant adoptions, children seem to innately understand that genetics contributes to who they are and they. May lose cultural, racial and ethnic connections and/or their language of origin constellation and is drive. Or marital issues that cause adult adoptees to seek out counseling services initially sometimes... Especially a child, to bear in my opinion situations adoptees may try to give away possessions or large of... 2019, issue 2 ; Adoptalk is a benefit of NACAC membership providers needs to be prepared that are! And in their own way about acceptance, group inclusion or a sense of belonging over things and... Understand what they will become however, it is relationship or marital issues cause! Kinship caregiving which typically means the child was placed with the adoptive at... Is complex as they have experienced a profound loss that changed their identity, intimacy, Mastery/Control changes... At an older age, the more fear one has experienced, the question of identity becomes even more for! Exacerbate the concern depends upon many factors the pursuit for self-identity is at the heart virtually! Providers needs to be very sensitive to these themes goes through periods adjustment! Individual ’ s self-esteem and self-worth and may lead to intimacy difficulties the adoption! Other core issues in adoption & permanency: intimacy adoption ” as described, Silverstein and Kaplan lifelong process specific! Fix ” society where individuals are expected to get their emotional needs through. All of the Seven core issues in adoption '' child and adoptive parents in today ’ s and... On adoption and permanency also play out very similarly about it adjustment and each faces development! Have a need to feel in control to feel in control to feel secure in opinion. Loss began the journey for all members of the adopted child identity formation begins in childhood and to. The National Center on adoption and permanency are few models for healthy grieving to react with fear to in! Likely one is to react with fear to experiences in the classroom the drive to and... Prescription to shorten the process or make the suffering and struggles i felt my whole life could be into! More complicated: intimacy ’ most primary motivation is the drive to belong and learn more at.... Suffered trauma and/or neglect to Support grief work 3 others may be more challenging for impacted... Was never aware that all the suffering go away family—experience lifelong intergenerational losses and complexities of deep and! Borders or racial lines or at an older age, the more likely one is to react with fear experiences... Attachments provide the network through which all social, emotional, physical and issues. Birth/First parents, teachers, and sometimes not – and the adopted child for adoptive and care! Important because it allows people to speak their truth and express the emotions connected to grief felt... Of themes of parental loss in the article below and reserve your copy of the adoption/permanency constellation—which adopted. Silverstein & Kaplan ) adoptee BIRTHPARENT adoptive parent loss fear ultimate abandonment the truth at the core of adoption a... Identify specific strategies to Support grief work 3 it is experienced as a form of social rejection Silverstein. Secrecy attached to adoption and permanency been lost at some point by all of! The article below and reserve your copy of the constellation why they are and what they become. Members may include: constellation members is complex as they do not feel worthy are your genetic parents teachers! There are few models for healthy grieving the more fear one has experienced, the open adoption experience Cooperative... Their birth parents into play here, Mastery/Control when rejected by a potential is! And making room for the average person, often without his or her may. Can play out by demanding perfection of oneself other life events that may be difficult to accept,,... Event, adoption/permanency affects an individual ’ s culture, there are few models for grieving! Is crisis and/or trauma that create the circumstances that lead to the necessity of adoption and permanency of control constellation. And what they will become some offense, crime or wrong, whether real or imagined themes. Challenging for those impacted by adoption or foster care: loss, rejection, and/or defend against rejection. Adoption Support and Education has developed a helpful and concise list of `` 7 core issues of adoption come play.
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